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    Validating and empathizing

    In particular, people with BPD can be very sensitive to abandonment.They may believe they are being left by someone when that is not actually the case at all.

    The idea that a six-month-old could feel fear or anger, no less sadness and grief, was preposterous.

    For instance, if your feelings toward someone who is experiencing hardship are limited to sympathy, then you might have a sense of regret for that person’s difficulty but are not feeling her feelings as if they’re your own.

    Meanwhile, sympathy has broader applications that don’t necessarily have to do with one person’s feelings for another.

    So a critical first step in helping your child learn to cope with her feelings is not to fear the feelings, but embrace them—all of them. Sadness and joy, anger and love, can co-exist and are all part of the collection of emotions children experience.

    When you help your child understand his feelings, he is better equipped to manage them effectively.

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